Nukume Dori
by Leareth
Chapter Fourteen
The drive to Subaru's apartment was silent, dark save for the street and traffic lights. After what the young man had been through – what they had both been through, actually – it was understandable, but that understanding didn't make the atmosphere any less tense. As the driver Seishirou focused on the road deliberately not thinking about anything that had just transpired, and it wasn't long before they arrived at their destination. With practiced ease Seishirou rolled the van to a stop right outside the apartment building pulling up the handbrake but leaving the engine running. He made no move to get out. "We're here," he said neutrally.
There was no reaction. Subaru simply sat huddled in the passenger seat as if he had dozed off. He hadn't, of course; Seishirou could see him staring dully at an imaginary spot on the glove compartment. Seishirou sighed, just audibly. "We're here, Subaru-kun," he repeated, still neutral. "Don't fall asleep here, the faster you get inside the faster you can get to bed and rest."
Slowly Subaru turned to look at him for a long moment, green eyes dull and unhappy. Seishirou met it with a sunny smile. It worked; Subaru sighed, unclipped his seat-belt and opened the door to slump out without saying a word. Seishirou was tempted to call out something, have a good time in Kyōto maybe, but refrained from doing so – they had already revealed far too much to each other tonight, though luckily for Seishirou it was unlikely that Subaru had been paying attention. Instead, he simply watched Subaru heave the van door shut before dragging himself up the path to his apartment building. His shoulders were hunched; he looked defeated and vulnerable, so although it probably wasn't expected of him Seishirou waited until Subaru was safely inside before driving off. Ever the consummate, Seishirou maintained his face of blandness until he turned the corner and was out of sight. Then he dropped it.
Seishirou was not smiling.
He drove. Drove and drove keeping a cruising pace that flirted with the speed limit. He knew the road home well enough to drive it half asleep, which left his mind ample freedom to prowl and see once again the end of the Bet and the end of the world and everything in between. Above all, he saw a darker, almost broken Subaru. Subaru, who hunted and dreamed of Seishirou, who for all intents and purposes had rejected living if not for Seishirou, who for nine years could think of nothing but Seishirou. Nine years that either existed only as a product of an incredibly detailed imagination, or nine years that Seishirou didn't remember.
Seishirou had a bad feeling it was the latter.
The approaching traffic light turned amber. It was too far ahead for Seishirou to reasonably speed through so he slowed the van bringing it to a standstill at the line just as the light went red. This was the last light before home, and Seishirou tapped his fingers on the wheel seeing but not seeing the red light. A red brighter than blood. Seishirou had plenty of blood all over his past, but Subaru had blood scattered through the memories of his future. Their future.
Four, three, two – now the opposing light was amber. Seishirou made a sudden decision. Releasing the brake he pulled the steering wheel clockwise as far as it would go and crossed into the right lane just as his light turned green, pulling through the corner and accelerating briefly until he hit Yasakuni-dori where he turned once more. At this hour of the night there was little traffic even on this main road which meant he could push the speed limit and break it when necessary to beat the lights; he had what was usually the better part of half hour's drive ahead and Seishirou wanted to make it as quick as possible so he could think as little as possible. There was, however, only so much he could do …
"This is how it ended." Subaru's disembodied voice was soft, bitter and without echo. "This is what you did to me, this is how you broke my heart. This is how you changed me forever."
Seishirou barely heard this, focused, as he was, on what was playing out before him. The Sakura, full and glorious in a way that only Subaru could imagine, was slowly taking the rag-doll that was the younger – truly younger – Subaru into its wood, and there was himself also, right eye swathed in bandages, smiling and speaking oddly familiar words of betrayal and the nothingness of the heart. Was that what he sounded like; was that how he looked when killing? Why did he only have one eye? The whole thing was fascinating, for Seishirou had at times imagined what it would be like when the Bet ended and how he would approach it, and his imaginings had not been dissimilar to this. Did that mean the Bet really had already happened?
Cold. The black void of Subaru's inner space was recalling something. Suddenly the ensnared child-Subaru and half-blinded Seishirou disappeared leaving only the Sakura for a brief moment before a figure melted out of the darkness. Short black hair, white ceremonial robes … for a moment Seishirou thought it was Subaru again, but the darkness around him was cringing, rippling with distress, and Seishirou realised that no, it wasn't Subaru, it was Hokuto-chan, wearing the robes of her family with defiant pride as she came to face the Sakura and the dark figure standing beneath its flowers. Once again Seishirou examined himself, the black suit he wore that he was certain hung somewhere in his wardrobe already, and the milky-white right eye. Blind. Apparently whatever wound he was supposed to be receiving in future was going to be permanent, which was rather worrying.
In the memory Hokuto was now confronting him beneath the Tree. Seishirou watched himself watch her as she stated her purpose – never would she let him hurt her brother, never, never – and shocked him with her request for death. Shocked him both then and now; even though Seishirou had been told that he killed Hokuto, to see it happening before him was something else entirely. He could understand why he would have obliged her, though … the death blow came now, an effortless stab of his hand through her body that made him restlessly rub his fingers together trying to once again feel the girl's blood, while all around him the blackness of Subaru's mind was screaming Hokuto's name though whether it was part of the memory or Subaru himself it was unclear. Probably the latter, for the mindscape was roiling in horror and reaching out to the memory as if to stop what was happening – what happened to your control, Subaru-kun? – forcing Seishirou to duck and dodge and—
He fell. Fell as if off a high cliff dropping through Subaru's memories like clouds: Subaru arguing with his grandmother, Subaru smoking, Subaru on various jobs he took no pride in, Subaru alone in bed at night, they flashed by sometimes lasting for a split second and sometimes lingering, snapshots of a life that had ceased to take joy in living. The deeper Seishirou went the more unsettled Subaru's mind became but still he persisted with grim determination. Soon there were memories of dreams, vivid and sharp, tingeing the darkness red with blood and heat and … oh, this was entertaining. Subaru couldn't kill him, far from it, he wanted Seishirou, wanted him not just emotionally but physically and in ways that Subaru would probably die of shame to acknowledge. Riveted Seishirou watched the products of Subaru's imagination, the way he made his fantasies of Seishirou kiss him and touch him and take him, so starkly different to the restrained, almost prudish person he was in real life. Amusing, really, especially since Seishirou had long recognised his own desire for Subaru, and made all the more delicious by the moments between the dreams where Subaru remembered waking in horror and shame and guilt. Certainly Seishirou was going to have to take note of what he was seeing …
He came to a memory more solid than the rest. Obviously this was going to be something significant. Warily Seishirou approached the scene as it took shape before him: moonlight, a bed, a mirror off-side with a shattered face. There was dust on the mirror's shards and a figure – Subaru – in the bed. Subaru, alone and restless, dreaming, no doubt, of the fantasies Seishirou had already seen. Suddenly he thrashed himself awake, green eyes wide and face flushed as he gasped for air … if Seishirou had not known the context he could have taken Subaru's expression for arousal, and his supposition probably wasn't far off the mark. It didn't last long, but; trembling, Subaru curled over himself as if his entire body were fist, only to catch sight of the broken mirror. A rise in tension, a decision made – "it would be so easy to end it" – and like a cripple Subaru crawled out of the bed onto the floor towards the shattered mirror. He grasped a glass shard pressing it to his wrist and Seishirou's breath caught – surely not, surely Subaru couldn't do this to himself – without thinking Seishirou reached out wanting to see his prey's face, wanting this to stop only to realise his mistake as the mindscape began to quake …
Carelessness, sheer utter carelessness. Whatever had possessed him to touch Subaru when Within like that? It had been a stupid move, stupid and dangerous, for the moment he had done so he had made himself an actor in Subaru's mind instead of a mere observer, and worse still it had pushed Subaru to lose grasp of what was and wasn't real, panicking to the point that all of Seishirou's attempts to keep him calm had been useless. What had followed had been a perfect storm of psychological defences desperately lashing out at any perceived threat, while Subaru himself had been trapped in a destructive downward spiral of his memories blurring surreally into each other. Any other onmyouji would have at that point chosen to get out and wake the subject, but not Seishirou. Oh no, he, reckless and confident in his abilities, had stayed Within watching Subaru fall and letting the rest of Subaru's memories play out because, damn it, he wanted to see the Final Day and he wanted to know. Unsurprisingly most of what Seishirou had seen he hadn't liked. What was surprising, however, was the extent of his dislike …
The last of the doves was broken, dissolving back into the stuff of dreams. Safe for the moment Seishirou, projecting himself in the form of a hawk so as to not provoke Subaru, spread torn wings to soar back towards the heart of Subaru's mindscape. Unstable as it now was with memories warping and unable to be sustained for anything more than heartbeats the past was continuing to play out and Seishirou wanted – no, needed – to see it all. Piercing eyes swept the scene before him: Subaru, bloodied and sprawled backwards over a pile of rubble, unable to defend himself as the young man, the one who just earlier Seishirou had seen wielding the Shinken to kill a girl, approached to finish off— "You," croaked out Subaru, "why do you and Seishirou-san—"
"—look so much alike?" The Dark Kamui smiled thinly as he reached down to grasp Subaru's hair and yank his head back. His other hand was raised up like a spear. "It's because you Wished it."
The hand stabbed downwards, plunging fingers into – no. No no no. How dare he, how dare the Dark Kamui even touch the prey clearly marked as his let alone cause such blatant damage – he snarled in fury as Subaru collapsed, right eye no longer a beautiful emerald green but smashed and weeping blood—
Car horn – the sedan he'd just cut off was angrily expressing its opinion of his driving, something Seishirou barely registered as he accelerated to leave it behind. Already he could see that the irregular mass of city lights ahead had begun to split, bisected by a patch of darkness in its midst. As Seishirou drew closer the dark patch grew wider, looming and made all the blacker by the ambient glow that permanently stained the skies of cities, until eventually it had pushed the lights entirely aside. Slowing to a pace more observant of the speed limit Seishirou turned onto Shinobazu-dori and followed it north, lights on his left and darkness on his right, before turning off into Ikenohata. Here his speed slowed even further, and he wound his way through the back streets to the university where he could find a place to park. Given the proximity to the zoo anyone spotting the van would probably assume it was there on business, however Seishirou laid an illusion over the van anyway changing its license plate and obscuring the 'Sakurazuka Veterinary Clinic' sign; it would be best to avoid being placed here entirely and if nothing else he could get out of any parking tickets. That done Seishirou pocketed his keys and began to walk letting the shadows swallow him whole; at this late hour there weren't any people about but there were exceptions – the homeless, the odd night-owl of a walker, nearby residents on their way home from the station – so Seishirou stayed away from the well-used walkways concealing his presence out of ingrained habit so that even the stray cats didn't notice his passing. Only one entity in Ueno Park was aware of him. It always was.
I'm back.
The Sakura was located on a slight rise not far from the Grand Fountain. Stripped of flowers and foliage it looked like any other large tree in winter, which was an illusion of course for the Sakura bloomed all year round, sustained by nearly a thousand years of blood. A thousand years in spirit, at least; corporeally this was the second Sakura, planted over four centuries ago when it became apparent the country's power centre was shifting to Edo, and a descendant of the original tree in Kyōto. The Kyōto tree was long gone of course, ruthlessly cut down after the ritual to move the Sakura's spirit east, for the Sakurazukamori pragmatically did not believe in holding onto the past for the sake of it; if something was not needed for future it was a burden best destroyed lest it hold one back. In contrast the Sumeragi were still stubbornly ensconced in Kyōto, adhering, no doubt, to the policy that in the absence of a clear imperial edict the ancient city was still the country's capital. Despite all evidence to the contrary.
Seishirou smiled grimly as he pressed his palm against the wood. Actually, now that he thought about it, the differing attitudes of the two families in that respect said a lot about their differing values.
He began to climb, hands and feet finding holds by memory. The Sakura greeted him as he ascended by brushing invisible flowers against his cheek and enfolding him in warmth which Seishirou greatly appreciated – he had neglected to wear his coat out and the December night was sharp. Nearly three metres up the Sakura's central trunk began to fork and in doing so had formed a sort of half-open cradle, one lined with years of old leaves and flowers and big enough even for a man of Seishirou's height to comfortably recline in if he sat back in the nook where he was mostly enclosed on three sides and stretched his legs out along a thick low-angled branch. Such a place would have presented a wonderful temptation for energetic children but since the Sakura subtly discouraged any exploration closer than a hanami picnic it was known only to the Sakurazukamori, and it was in this that Seishirou finally came to rest. No one would see him there of course, for even without the Sakura's concealing illusion it was too dark and in any case Seishirou had long learnt that people very rarely looked to see what was above their heads unless they had reason to. Secure and comfortable he settled against the Sakura and stared out over the park letting his breathing slowly deepen. Calm.
Now, he could think. About a lot of things.
First off, the time reversal. Thus far Seishirou had given Subaru's claim the benefit of the doubt without actually believing it, but he had a bad feeling that was going to have to change. The possibility that Subaru had created everything Seishirou had seen Within was becoming less viable by the second – first of all Subaru didn't make up stories because honesty aside he just didn't have the imagination for it, but secondly while watching Subaru's memories Seishirou had to reluctantly admit to sometimes experiencing a sense of déjà vu. The déjà vu had never resolved into anything definite, much to his frustration, but there had been times when it had been undeniable. Like at the end of the Bet, Hokuto's death, and Nakano. Like the Dark Kamui taking out Subaru's eye.
Like when they had died.
He soared through infinite space, still imagined in the shape of a hawk and searching for Subaru. He was no longer being attacked which was a vast improvement but also signalled the final turn for the worst: Subaru's mind was quieting the way death throes eventually quiet before ceasing. If Seishirou didn't wake Subaru from this very soon the boy wouldn't be waking up at all …
"So. This is how it ends."
There – Seishirou banked towards the oddly calm, even conversational voice, not realising until he spotted the pair of figures surrounded by silent grey flames that the it was his own. "Any regrets?" he heard himself say.
The white figure that was Subaru looked almost impossibly fragile, especially with his right eye covered by gauze. Seishirou found the bandage jarring. "How could I not have any?" was the quiet reply.
"Of course."
So this was the end or at least, the end as far as the two of them were concerned. The two Kamui who Seishirou expected to star as the main event were conspicuous by their complete absence. It was rather flattering to know that he had Subaru's attention so completely ... he let himself drop angling to get a closer look as Subaru asked, "What about you?"
"What do you mean?"
His own voice, perfectly light and unconcerned – but Seishirou knew himself well. He knew how easy it was to put on that voice and how he used it as a cover— "After seventeen years, Seishirou-san, can you still say that you cannot differentiate me from a glass? Can you still say that you feel nothing?"
"For you?"
"…Yes."
A soft laugh. "You're so cute, Subaru-kun."
The black sunglasses prevented him from seeing his own face. Seishirou hissed in frustration but unless he wanted to disturb the memory and destablise Subaru even more was unable to do anything except listen as he thoughtfully said, "I'm … disappointed that our game has to end. It was one of the few interesting things in my life."
"And me?"
He watched the sunglasses fix on Subaru's face as the smile beneath them widened. "For you … it is what a child feels for a favourite toy he cannot live without."
Truth, blunt, cold and cruel. Seishirou was surprised he had admitted to it so readily, but then again considering their time was about to end the truth was useless to Subaru and Seishirou knew it was only because it was useless that he had allowed it to be said. Still, just because he could understand his reasons didn't mean he was comfortable with them and the damned sunglasses weren't helping at all ... he turned his attention to Subaru, expecting the young man to exhibit something broken and was rewarded as pain bloomed over the bandaged face – but only for a moment. As Seishirou watched the pain shifted, melting as the one visible eye widened in disbelief and parted lips inexplicably lifted into … a smile? Yes, for some reason Subaru was smiling even while tears were gathering; it was beautiful, nonsensical, and Seishirou felt his breath catch with familiarity as Subaru took a step towards him. No, not him, the memory of him. The memory that was now receiving the glory of Subaru's joy. "You answered the question," Subaru whispered.
Stop. Seishirou realised he wasn't breathing as what Subaru said sank in like a knife. Inside him something clenched and twisted as Subaru's memory of him deliberately removed the sunglasses to reveal exactly the shock he was feeling except unlike him who had the urge to strike out the illusion was smiling softly as he replied, "I suppose I did."
He didn't recognise himself. He didn't recognise this man who wore his face and looked at Subaru-kun with an expression of such … what? Longing? Wistfulness? Seishirou couldn't recognise it and he certainly couldn't name it, but whatever that expression was it shook him to the core especially when Subaru came forward to trap him in an embrace, one that the memory of Seishirou hesitantly returned burying his face in Subaru's hair— "Shall we end this?"
"…yes."
—he knew it was all about to end now, that in moments Subaru would be pinioned on his arm and Subaru's shikigami would be burning through his heart, he had to stop this quickly for if Subaru died in mind he would die for real and in any case he couldn't stand the sight of Subaru holding onto an illusion. Wings stretched, a piercing battle-cry as his imagined form prepared to attack, and then he was diving talons ready to kill this, this puppet of himself, this puppet to which Subaru clung so tightly and whose incomprehensible expression filled him with such hostility – he struck hard, sending the memory of himself stumbling woodenly away from Subaru who cried out in horror, something he was barely aware of as he viciously clawed at his own face to tear it to pieces before the ofuda flew at him to turn the world white—
—jolting back to reality with the inexplicable knowledge that Subaru's hair had smelt of smoke and musk—
Seishirou's eyes narrowed; the thin silhouettes of branches over his head looked uncomfortably like cracks in the sky. Going Within Subaru wasn't a decision he was regretting but he had certainly gotten a lot more than he had bargained for, and as distasteful as it was to admit somewhere some part of him had recognised the events he had seen Within Subaru, a realisation that he had been profoundly disturbed to put into words but now that he had it could not be undone. That meant that like it or not, he was going to have to face the possibility that not only was there was a big reset button for the universe, someone or something out there had pressed it.
Maybe that had been the point of the Final Day. If that were true and humanity was obviously still around and kicking, that would mean that Seishirou's side had lost.
Seishirou wasn't sure what to think about that. After all, déjà vu or not he still wasn't actually remembering anything.
Why didn't he remember when Subaru did?!
Branches stirred uneasily in the still air. The Sakura was expressing what could be taken as a question about Seishirou's mood, something it had been doing rather often as of late which was uncharacteristic because usually Seishirou's relationship with the Sakura was one of undemanding respect, intimate in the way two old friends can sit in silence and know that regardless of time or distance the other will always be there ready to give. It was a trust that didn't rely on words, and just as Seishirou trusted the Sakura to look after their interests so the Sakura trusted Seishirou to take care of himself. For the Sakura to so obviously show concern was another indication of just how serious the situation with Subaru had become. Bad enough that Subaru had deceived him for so long, even worse that he couldn't remember the years leading up to the Final Day, but on top of it all was the implications of what it all meant. If Seishirou accepted that he had already lived this life, it meant accepting that he had also already died, specifically killed. The Sakurazukamori could only be killed by the person they loved.
Seishirou had been killed by Subaru.
"Shall we end this?"
"… Yes."
No. No, no. He refused to accept it. He was Sakurazukamori, dark onmyouji and guardian of the cherry blossom burial mound, and as such he did not love or hate or do any of those other emotional things that betrayed and drove the actions of other people. Unlike them Seishirou had an unwavering sense of self and was subject only to his own conscious will; he would not allow himself to be influenced by anything or anyone. The ability to know his own mind without a shadow of self-doubt – that was what gave him power both as an onmyouji and as a man—
"After seventeen years, Seishirou-san, can you still say that you cannot differentiate me from a glass? Can you still say that you feel nothing?"
—except now he was missing nine years of his first life. Nine years worth of memories and experiences, of witnessing humanity's developments, the absence of which put him at a severe disadvantage in the Bet against Subaru. Possibly even a fatal disadvantage. All capped off with the revelation that contrary to personal belief, love was not the absolute impossibility he had thought it was.
For the first time, Seishirou realised that it was possible for him to lose.
He swore through his teeth. No, to love, to lose, that was completely and utterly unacceptable. This was his game, he had started it and damn it, he would finish it and win. So he might have felt something for Subaru in that other life, so what? That had been in the context of the Final Day, an extreme situation where he would have known that dying at the hands of his opposite was almost a given so perhaps it wasn't unforeseeable that he had admitted some kind of feeling for Subaru. This, however, was now. Now, even if he had to grudgingly recognise that he wasn't incapable of love he did not feel anything of the sort. And if Seishirou had his way – which he usually did – regardless of whatever had happened that past life he never would. He didn't want to.
All this meant only one thing.
Subaru had to lose the Bet.
Seishirou found this conclusion all very well and good. On the other hand, it was also complicated in that it conflicted with the Bet's terms and the promises he had made to Subaru in the MS Institute. Pride against defeat was one thing, but Seishirou also had pride in his word and it was something he took very seriously. Words were powerful, they created rules and obligations, and since the only authority Seishirou respected was his own his words were the only limits that he recognised and adhered to. He took care with what he said, and for all that Subaru accused him of lying it wasn't that black-and-white: calling himself a veterinarian wasn't the entire truth but it certainly wasn't a lie, and saying "I love you" to Subaru when being 'Sakurazuka Seishirou-sensei' wasn't exactly a lie because it was true for that character. Lies were easy, but it took a master to spin illusions with depth and subtlety so that from certain points of view they were actually true, and Seishirou took pride in his art. He did not contradict himself.
So, what to do? How to reconcile his determination that Subaru should lose with the fact that there was still about two months left in the Bet, not to mention his promise to do everything possible to love Subaru? Well, that could be a matter of interpretation. The way Seishirou saw things it wasn't as if he was completely precluding Subaru from winning, rather that he had just made it harder. In that first life the Bet had been something of an experiment to see whether he was capable of love in the first place; as such, he had been generally unbiased towards Subaru. This time, however, since he already knew love wasn't impossible he was now taking a position against Subaru which significantly reduced the boy's chances of winning, but didn't rule it out entirely. All Subaru had to do was play a better game at being lovable.
That hadn't been happening much. Correction actually, it hadn't been happening, period. For all his noise about wanting to win the Bet Subaru was showing a surprising lack of enthusiasm what with his resentful moodiness, and the apology aside Seishirou wasn't quite sure what to make of it. After all, Subaru had sounded so earnest that night …
"I said I love you. I'm continuing the Bet because I want you by my side."
Love. It had been something of a shock to be told that, not in a bad sense but just because it had been so utterly unexpected. The Bet was all about Seishirou, an experiment to test his capacity or lack thereof for emotion, and until that night the idea that his prey could develop feelings from their so-called relationship had never entered Seishirou's mind. It definitely put things in a very different light, though.
"These marks signify that I belong to you and I do, more completely than you ever anticipated."
Seishirou smiled, and, as always whenever he thought about that moment (often) quietly chuckled part in amusement and part in disbelief. To be loved – no, to have that kind of power over someone, it was something he had never contemplated. He couldn’t believe Subaru had given him such a valuable weapon but now that he had it he fully intended on using it. He wanted Subaru to lose, lose not just in the usual sense of the word but badly, worse than last time if possible for his pride would settle for nothing less. What's more, he wanted Subaru to hurt. Having Subaru's love would just make this all the easier, particularly when Subaru's admission of virginity and those very interesting fantasies of his were taken into account. In that respect Seishirou could certainly distinguish himself from his first life, and since he was committed to seeing out the Bet anyway he may as well enjoy himself.
And Subaru would be enjoyable. Physically the boy was exquisite, lithe and deceptively delicate, with the stark contrast of pale skin and ebony hair setting off a pair of green eyes like the rarest of emeralds. Graceful hands that could now touch a corpse without hesitation, and a body that resisted Seishirou in public places while yearning for him in private dreams. The boy could be anyone's object of desire, and the idea that he could claim such beauty for himself completely made Seishirou wet his lips anticipating not only the opportunity to appreciate, but to break. It would be challenging to seduce Subaru of course given how skittish he was but Seishirou was confident that eventually he would succeed, particularly if he took his cues from what he had seen Within Subaru's mind. Come to think of it, Subaru would probably even be the type to mix sexual intimacy with emotional intimacy – now that would raise the stakes, and more importantly, make the Bet's end all the more devastating.
Seishirou was rather looking forward to telling Subaru he had lost again. Almost as much as killing him.
He sighed, relaxing into the Sakura's support. Already he felt better about his situation, which although far from ideal was definitely looking much improved. No longer would he remain defensively on the back foot; now was prepared to deal with Subaru and there would no repeat of his humiliation at the MS Institute. Presuming Subaru wasn't hiding anything else about that past life from him, of course.
There was the sticking point. Invaluable as it was to be loved and have that kind of influence over Subaru, whether it was enough to counter Seishirou's lack of memory was yet to be seen. Subaru could not have told him everything about the future, and of course it was impossible for Seishirou to know what had been left out. The disclosure that Subaru was already aware of the Sakurazukamori succession ritual had been a nasty surprise, and while in that case Seishirou could probably thank chance that Subaru didn’t know that other detail about the Sakurazukamori only being killed by their beloved the chance of being similarly ambushed in future was something Seishirou did not like one bit. What else didn't he know? Subaru had spent those nine years obsessively hunting for him, but what had he been doing? Had that small admission to his prey on the Final Day come about only because he knew that Subaru was about to kill him, or was there something more? What had he done to lose half his sight?
If only he could remember …
Warm wood closing around him. Seishirou found himself shutting his eyes, fatigue hitting all at once which probably wasn't surprising given everything that had happened, and the prospect of walking through the cold park plus a long drive back suddenly felt very unappealing. He could stay where he was a little longer … with a yawn he nestled down into the Sakura's embrace; he sometimes napped here after a job when he couldn't be bothered making the trip home, and while not as comfortable as a proper bed it was perfectly serviceable and more importantly, perfectly secure. Nothing living or dead could touch him here the Sakura wouldn't allow it, though dreams were possibly another matter …
Quiet breaths deepening to calm. Seishirou was asleep.
* * *
Like a parent covering a child the Sakura drew protectively around its Sakurazukamori, warming and filling the spaces between branches with flowers that were visible to none but the man now slumbering in their midst. They rustled uneasily, uncomfortable with way Seishirou's dreaming mind was circling the green-eyed onmyouji that had tried to exorcise it a few years ago – indeed, uncomfortable with the fact that Seishirou was dreaming in the first place. The Sakura had seen generations of Sakurazukamori over its centuries, each of whom had believed himself or herself untouchable until they met the one person they would in their own way come to love, who would inevitably kill and succeed them, and it was well aware of the signs that foreshadowed such a fall. For some the fall was hard and fast – Setsuka for one, lost the moment she laid eyes on the son she birthed and so driven to madness when he was taken from her – whereas for others the fall was more gradual, like a slow poison only noticed when it was too late for any antidote. Either way the end result was the same: falling in love for the Sakurazukamori was the signing of their death warrant. There was no right or wrong to this as far as the Sakura was concerned, rather, it was simply part of the process for renewal, but whereas in the past the Sakura had been indifferent to the Sakurazukamori's chosen this time was different. This time the Sakurazukamori's chosen was a practitioner, and not just any practitioner but the practitioner, the one whose power so was like and so antithetical to theirs. Had the Sakura been anything resembling human it may have thought that this was abhorrent. As it was, the Sakura simply knew that this was not supposed to be.
Sakurazukamori and Sumeragi. Two opposites on either side of an equal balance, two sides of the same coin. They could see each other, touch each other, even kill each other for that was allowed. But for one to become the other? No. Such an event would be against the order the Sakura maintained and should not happen. At present Seishirou was yet to realise the implications of his choices but it was only a matter of time …
Dreams of regret and a blackened and bleeding sky. They had no meaning for the Sakura which cared little for the past, alternate or otherwise, except that they disturbed the Sakurazukamori's already unsettled rest … unconsciously Seishirou frowned and the Sakura continued weaving its protections, taking steps to ensure not only that Seishirou's dreams wouldn't be remembered on waking but that the memories behind them remained sealed. Hoping as much as something inhuman can hope to delay the inevitable as long as possible – or at least, until after the Sumeragi was safely dead.
Chapter Thirteen Annex VI | Chapter Fifteen
NOTES:
- I've been in Ueno Park several times and on my last trip to Japan actually stayed in a hotel that was literally across the road from the Shinobazu-no-ike meaning I could literally walk into the Park at night time. Which I've done J
- Kyōto was established as the capital of Japan in 794 AD upon imperial edict from Emperor Kammu who relocated the capital there from Nagaoka after a series of natural disasters. It remained the country's capital for over a thousand years however during the Tokugawa era (1603-1868) Kyōto was merely the formal capital with real power being wielded from Edo, now modern day Tokyo. Although the imperial residence of the emperor was moved from Kyōto to Tokyo 1868, there was never an express imperial edict that formally made Tokyo the capital of Japan, which means that although no one will dispute Tokyo's position as the centre of national government from a certain point of view Kyōto is legally still the national capital.